Dave Barry Quotes
No.	Quotation	Subject
1	But this is no time for gaiety. This is a time to get hold of the folks at the Oregon State Highway division and ask them, when they get done cleaning up the beaches, to give us an estimate on the US Capitol.	Miscellaneous
2	Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth and fresher breath.	Television
3	Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.	Alcohol
4	The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes.	Shopping
5	When I purchase a food item at the supermarket, I can be confident that the label will state how much riboflavin is in it. The United States government requires this, and for a good reason, which is: I have no idea. I don't even know what riboflavin is. I	Food
6	The Constitution of the United States of America, Article V, Section 1: There shall be a National Anthem containing incomprehensible words and a high note that normal humans cannot hit without risk of hernia.	Constitution
7	But when it came to eloquence, George [H. W.] Bush was Winston Churchill compared with his vice president, the legendary J. Danforth Quayle. You never knew what Dan was going to say next, and the wonderful thing was, Dan clearly didn't know either. He'd b	Dan Quayle
8	A lot of people were very upset, especially people in Palm Beach County, who were saying that they had accidentally voted for Pat Buchanan, which was clearly a mistake. Even Pat Buchanan admitted this. You'd have to be nuts to vote for me! he declared.	Voting
9	Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.	Golf
10	I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.	Argument

Result Page : 1 2 3 4 5

Displaying 1 to 11 of 49 Barry quotes

Search Now: