"How much do Windows cost, and do you have to buy
each one separately?"

  	Customer: "How much do Windows cost?"
Tech Support: "Windows costs about $100."
Customer: "Oh, that's kind of expensive. Can I
buy just one window?"

  	Tech Support: "Do you have any windows open
right now?"

Customer: "Are you crazy woman, it's twenty
below outside..."

  	"I try to avoid using Microsoft. That's why I
use MS-DOS."

  	Tech Support: "How can I help you?"
Customer: "Well, everything is working fine, but
there is one program that is not."
Tech Support: "What program is it?"
Customer: "It's called 'MSDOS Prompt'."
Tech Support: "What's wrong with it?"
Customer: "Well, I click on it, a black screen
shows up with NOTHING but a sign that reads:
'C:WINDOWS>', and it just sits there and
doesn't do anything. I have to turn off the
system to go back to Windows."

  	Customer: "File manager? What's that?"
Tech Support: "How long have you had your
computer?"

Customer: "Three years."

  	"I have a 386 Pentium."
  	
  	"My brother has a 486 with a Pentium chip in
it."

  	Customer: "The computer told me it had
contagious memory. Does it have a virus?"
Tech Support: "No, that is 'contiguous' memory,
as in 'sequential'."

Customer: "That is impossible, it said
'contagious'."

Tech Support: "Type 'mem' and hit the 'enter'
key." Customer: "Oh."
  	

"My computer's telling me I performed an illegal
abortion."