Things you should never say to a cop when he
pulls you over:

20. I can\'t reach my license unless you hold my
beer.

19. Sorry officer, I didn\'t realize my radar
detector wasn\'t plugged in.

18. Aren\'t you the guy from the villiage people?

17. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up
with me, good job.

16. I thought you had to be in relatively good
physical shape to be a police officer.

15. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to
finish high school instead.

14. Bad cop. No donut.

13. You\'re not going to check the trunk, are
you?

12. Gee, that gut sure doesn\'t inspire
confidence.

11. Didn\'t I see you get your butt kicked on
cops?

10. Is it true that people become cops because
they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?

9. I pay your salary

8. So uh, you on the take or what?

7. Gee officer, that\'s terrific. The last officer
only gave me a warning.

6. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just
so one of us does.

5. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I
know there is no other cars around, that\'s how
far they are ahead of me.

4. What do you mean have I been drinking? You are
the trained specialist.

3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of
crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged
between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to
speed out of control.

2. Hey, is that a 9mm? That\'s nothing compared to
this 44 magnum.

1. Hey, can you give me another one of those full
cavity searches?