Why did the mean teacher walk around with her purse open?
She'd read there was going to be some change in the weather.


Fred collected lots of money from trick-or-treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate.
"You should give that money to charity," said the sales girl.
Fred thought for a moment and said, "No, I'll buy the chocolate. You give the money to charity."


What happened when the cat swallowed a coin?
There was money in the kitty.


How can a can you double your money?
By folding it in half.


Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money.
"I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it."
"I've spent my last buck," said the deer.
"Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk.
"Getting here cost me my last scent."

Dad, would you like to save some money?
I certainly would, son.
Any suggestions?
Sure. Why not buy me a bike, then I won't wear my shoes out so fast.

I hate paying my income tax.
You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile?
I'd like to but they insist on money!

The best way of saving money is to forget who you borrowed it from.


Fred: Thank you so much for lending me that money. I shall be everlastingly in your debt.
Harry: That's what I'm afraid of!


Have you heard about the new aftershave that drives women crazy?

No! Tell me about it. It smells of $50 dollar bills.


Have you heard about the new aftershave that drives women crazy?

No! Tell me about it. It smells of $50 dollar bills.

At the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce meeting the treasurer reported a deficit of two hundred dollars.

One of the chamber members stood up and said,

"I vote that we donate half of it to the Red Cross and then give the other fifty dollars to the Salvation Army.