Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit
her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning
home, she will call the same friend and they will
talk for three hours.

Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid
the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut.

Women do NOT want an honest answer to the
question, 'How do I look?'

PMS stands for: Permissible Man-Slaughter (or at
least men think it means that). PMS also stands
for Preposterous Mood Swings and Punish My
Spouse.

The first naked man a woman sees is 'Ken'.

Women will make three right-hand turns to avoid
making one left-hand turn.

'Oh, nothing,' has an entirely different
meaning in woman-language than it does in
man-language.

Women cannot use a map without turning the map to
correspond to the direction that they are
heading.

All women are overweight by definition; don't
agree with them about it. Women always have 5
pounds to lose, but don't bring this up unless
they really have 5 pounds to gain.

If it is not Valentine's Day and you see a man in
a flower shop, you can probably start up a
conversation by asking, 'What did you do?'

Only women understand the reason for 'guest
towels' and the 'good china'.

All women seek equality with men until it comes to
sharing the closet, taking out the trash, and
picking up the check.

If a man ticks off a woman she will often respond
by getting a fuzzy toilet cover which warms their
rear, but makes it impossible for the lid to stay
up thus it constantly gets peed on by the guys
(which gets them in More trouble).

Women never check to see if the lid is up. They
seem to prefer taking a flying butt leap towards
the bowl and then chewing men out because they
'left the seat up' instead of taking two seconds
and lowering it themselves.

Women can get out of speeding tickets by
pouting. This will get men arrested.

Women don't really care about a sense of humor in
a guy despite claims to the contrary. You don't
see women trampling over Tom Cruise to get to
Gilbert Gottfried, do you?

Men can never catch women checking out other men;
women will always catch men checking out other
women.