Oprah Winfrey virus:
Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB and
then slowly expands back to 200MB.

AT&T virus:
Every three minutes it tells you what great
service you are getting.

MCI virus:
Every three minutes it reminds you that you're
paying too much for the AT&T virus.

Politically Correct virus:
Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers
to itself as an "electronic microorganism."

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus:
Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.


Government Economist virus:
Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software
says everything is fine.

New World Order virus:
Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people
really mad just thinking about it.

Federal Bureaucrat virus:
Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little
units, each of which does practically nothing, but
all of which claim to be the most important part
of your computer.

Texas virus:
Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.

Adam and Eve virus:
Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

Congressional virus:
The computer locks up, screen splits erratically
with a message appearing on each half blaming the
other side for the problem.

Airline virus:
You're in Dallas but your data is in Singapore.

Freudian virus:
Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying to
its own motherboard.

Public Television virus:
Your programs stop every few minutes to ask for
money.

Elvis virus:
Your computer gets fat, slow and lazy, then self
destructs only to resurface at shopping malls and
service stations across rural America.

Nike virus:
Just does it.

Congressional virus #2:
Runs every program on the hard drive
simultaneously, but doesn't allow the user to
accomplish anything.

Star Trek virus:
Invades your system in places where no virus has
gone before.

Health Care virus:
Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong,
and sends you a bill for $4,500.