How Dogs and Men Are the Same<

1. Both take up too much space on the bed.

2. Both have irrational fears about vacuum
cleaning

3. Both mark their territory

4. Neither tells you what's bothering them

5. The smaller ones tend to be more nervous

6. Both have an inordinate fascination with
women's crotches

7. Neither does any dishes

8. Both fart shamelessly

9. Neither of them notice when you get your hair
cut

10. Both like dominance games

11. Both are suspicious of the postman

12. Neither understands what you see in cats


How Dogs Are Better Than Men

1. Dogs do not have problems expressing affection
in public

2. Dogs miss you when you're gone

3. Dogs feel guilty when they've done something
wrong

4. Dogs admit when they're jealous<

5. Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out

6. Dogs do not play games with you, except fetch
(and they never laugh at how you throw.)

7. You can train a dog

8. Dogs are easy to buy for

9. The worst social disease you can get from dogs
is fleas. (OK, really, the worst disease you can
get from them is rabies, but there's a vaccine
for it and you can kill the one that gives it to
you).

10. Dogs understand what "no" means.

11. Dogs mean it when they kiss you.