Coming Home Late
Two married buddies are out drinking one night
when one turns to the other and says,

"You know, I don't know what else to do.
Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking,
I turn the headlights off before I get to the
driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the
garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the
house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in
the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL
wakes up and yells at me for staying out so
late!"

His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're
obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech
into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the
steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into
bed, rub my hands on my wife's butt and say,
'Lets do it!'

....and she's always sound asleep.